May 28, 2009

Put an End to Candy Color Equality

I like to eat fruity candy, but not all the flavors. I can't possibly be the only one who feels this way, and I'm willing to bet that many people prefer the same flavors as I do. I bet they are also willing to do without the flavors that are less exciting. As an example, the "red" or cherry flavors are often the best ones, right? And who really likes the "orange" ones all that much? I'm not saying that orange sucks, but they are probably pretty low on the list, right?

It seems to me that everyone likes the red ones best, whether it's Skittles, Starbursts, gummy bears, etc. When you reach into the bag, I bet you are hoping to pull out a red one... and then you pull out a yellow one. Tell me that you're not disappointed.

The red and pink ones (of anything) are usually the best, and the orange and yellows are usually the least favorite. I'm on the fence about green ones – I can take 'em or leave 'em. So, if this is the case, and the majority of people feel the way I do (and I bet that they do), then why don't the candy companies just make bags containing ALL red ones?!

Wouldn't that be a big seller? Imagine a roll of pure cherry and strawberry Starbursts or a bag of all red Skittles. Tell me you wouldn't buy that and leave all the crappy orange, yellow and green ones behind! We, the consuming public, don't need candy color variety. I doubt there is anyone out there that wishes they had a bag full of all green Skittles. These candy companies should survey their customers, and I'm sure they would find that the great majority like one or two flavors and probably don't care too much for the rest.

Instead of making a candy containing only one or two good flavors, they come out with new-fangled creations like "Tropical" (there is always too much banana in the mix) or "Sour" (can they really be better than Sour Patch Kids?). Mike & Ike alone has a million different flavors these days (Original, Jolly Joes, Berry Blast, Lemonade, Tangy Twister, Tropical Typhoon and Zours) - it's like they are desperate to find another hit flavor after launching the Original. All they have to do is come up with the radical new idea of just making an all cherry-flavored packet of Mike & Ike! Not only would it out sell Tropical Typhoon, but it might out sell the Original, too! Candy flavors are not people – we don't have to treat them all equally. It's about time we started using prejudice in our favor and only get the flavors we really want.

*** This just in!... Starburst is coming out with a NEW set of flavors called "Favereds", which is "your favorite red Starburst flavors in one packet -- strawberry, fruit punch, watermelon and cherry." Not EXACTLY what I want, but at least they are getting close! Once again, your Minister of Common Sense is hard at work for you!


  1. Yes, red is the best color, although I do like the yellow, orange - and green, too! I guess you can call me "equal opportunity"!

  2. im looking fwd to the new all red starbursts, but since when did watermelon become one of "our favorites"? cant they just make them all cherry???

  3. I feel this way about Jelly Beans. There are so many flavors I don't like, such as black, green, yellow...) that I end up throwing away the whole bag! Plus, with Jelly Beans, you also don't know what the flavors are going to taste like. Are the red ones cherry or cinnamon? That's a big difference!