January 22, 2009

Don't Fuck With The Knot.com

I'm going to pull back the curtain and reveal to you the dangerous life of a fledgling blogger. You may think this is all fun and games for me, but it’s not... especially not after I stirred the hornets’ nest known as The Knot.com.

For those of you who don't know, The Knot is a wedding website where future brides can share ideas, find vendors, get advice, learn about weddings, etc. Sounds pretty terrifying, right? Well, it is. Apparently, it's a pretty popular website, although I had no idea just HOW popular until last week.

I'd like to thank my loyal readers of this little blog. I admit I enjoy writing it, but I don't make any money from it or anything - I just do it for fun. But, it wouldn't be any fun unless I knew people were actually reading it, so thank you for that. The Minister of Common Sense blog received its 1,500th hit a couple of weeks ago (after being open for just 4 months and only posting once a week), so I was feeling pretty good about myself. Of course, I always need to get more readers, so every so often I try creative ways to get the word out. And sometimes, people put the word out for me.

A few months ago, some random girl put a link to my blog on one of The Knot.com message boards. The link connected to my August 21 post entitled, “Hosting Weddings Sucks". Check it out - it's basically about how one of my friends received no gifts (no card, no nothing) from certain friends and family who attended their wedding. Additionally, people didn't RSVP to the wedding or guests brought people who weren't invited. Basically, I complained about the shocking shit that wedding guests do, and I said that I thought it was wrong. Of course, it was written in my typical acidic, sarcastic, I-hate-people style (but that is what this blog is known for).

It was nice that the person posted a link to my blog on The Knot. In fact, I got nearly 100 hits from it, which was great. So one night last week, I decided that I would register for The Knot and post another link to that wedding blog I wrote about before (The Knot has a different message board for each city). I would just post something and write, “Hey, check this out, it's an interesting post about weddings." Basically to try to get the word out about The Minister of Common Sense and maybe pick up a new regular reader – and of course to share some interesting stuff about my friend’s wedding.

After putting the message up, I immediately got 15 hits. I thought to myself, "Oh, wow, that's good. Maybe I’ll put a post up on ALL the city message boards on The Knot. Perhaps if I did that, maybe I would get a total of 50 hits from it or something – that’d be great!” So I spent the next half hour repeating my note in various (constructive) forms on all the city message boards.

Well, I woke up the next morning (12 hours later), and I had 2,500 hits from The Knot.com. You have to figure that people must have been sleeping for SOME of the night (maybe 5 hours?), so I was basically getting one new hit on my blog every 12 seconds. That's not on par with Google or anything, but it's hell of a lot for a non-commercial site. Remember, I had a total of 1,500 hits for 4 months, and now I just got 2,500 in 12 hours. I felt like I was in Office Space... I just wanted to steal a couple of pennies, but when I checked the ATM receipt, I had $300,000 after one day.

So my first reaction to all this is, WOW, girls are REALLY into their wedding and are very interactive about it all! I mean, you'd never get me to randomly click on a link to some stupid blog, yet it was like these women couldn't NOT click on it! Don't get me wrong, I am super pleased that 2,500 new people got exposed to my blog. And if only 1% of them ever came back again, that would be a big win for me, as far as I am concerned. And if you are one of those people who came back today, I want to thank and welcome you! I was just absolutely stunned that I was getting that kind of traffic in that amount of time. It really demonstrated the power of The Knot.

I told a good friend of mine (a bride-to-be, in fact) what I had done, and I showed her all the hits I was getting... minute after minute after minute. She looked at me with a mix of fear and concern and quietly cautioned, "Oh my god. You put this on The Knot?? Tell me you didn’t. You don't fuck with The Knot.com." Oh how right she was... because not everyone was happy with me.

Twelve hours after this all began (i.e. almost as soon as I woke up), The Knot personally contacted me, banned me for life, pulled down all my postings on all the message boards, and mentioned something about castration (or forcing me to get married – I can’t remember which – it was all a threatening blur). The hits to my blog were pouring in, and The Knot pulled the plug on me. God knows how many hits I would have gotten if the day was able to roll on uninterrupted, but the moment they shut me down, it stopped.

I tried to argue with The Knot “Gods” (as they are known). They didn't want me posting on ALL of their message boards, even though: (1) the material was relevant to weddings; (2) I was adding quality third-party content for free; and (3) I wasn't trying to sell, trick or spam anyone. In fact, some of the postings I started on The Knot message boards got very active (with people either liking or hating my post). In some situations, postings were getting 30+ comments on them after a few hours and The Knot was awarding them a star for "highest popularity".

In fact, some of The Knot readers resurrected my postings after the website deleted them. As in here and here (so feel free to repost it, if you want!). They allege a “dirty delete” or "DD", which I guess is Knot talk for removing something without a cause. I’m not sure if they are accusing me of doing it or The Knot Gods.

I guess it's not surprising that The Knot shut me down. But what was really surprising was the absolute venom that some women were exhibiting toward this one post I wrote about on weddings. There were a few comments posted on the actual blog (which you can see here), but the majority were posted on The Knot message boards. In some situations, people would say that they liked it, that they thought it was funny, and thanks for sharing - stuff like that. But then there were others who were frighteningly evil.

I got a shitload of hate e-mail (which I've gotten before for some of my other posts, so that's fine – I have thick skin, and I will acknowledge that I’m probably not the most likeable guy to begin with). (By the way, aside from the wedding post, the post that generated the most amount of hate e-mail was my recent one about the Photo Christmas Cards. Weird. Go figure. People REALLY WANT to put their kids on their Christmas cards!) But some of the comments written about the wedding post by The Knot readers really surprised and shocked me.

Since The Knot.com postings no longer exist (and since I'm serving a lifetime ban), I'll have to reference some of the comments that were posted on my own blog. Basically, some of the readers were mad at me and my friend because we both assumed that gifts would be given by at least the majority of guests who attended their wedding – and some readers felt that this was wrong and greedy of us. Really?? What’s next?... that it’s wrong to expect you will get gifts on Christmas, or candy on Halloween? It was odd – the original comments received on my blog were basically supportive of my position that my friend got ripped off (some people didn’t even give him a card), but the majority of the posted comments by the future brides-to-be from The Knot were attacking and unsupportive, which totally confused me. You would think that future brides would be concerned about the possibility of guests not properly RSVPing, not bringing gifts, bringing people who weren’t invited, etc... but this group (at least those who commented and were most vocal in e-mail and on the message boards) seemed to act as if they were above it all, and that they don’t care about gifts at all – they just want people to “be a part of their special day”, which is nice... but I find it hard to fully believe.

Here are some random comments posted to me:

“according to wedding etiquette, gifts are NEVER to be expected by the bride and groom”

“you are a piece of sh*t and so are your married friends. You do not EVER expect a gift from anyone...ever”

“No, they shouldn't expect gifts and no, it's not rude for guests to not bring one.”

“That is unbelievably rude of the bride and groom and not to mention yourself to count up the value of the gifts and judge people on their gift or lack of. There is no "rule" that you have to give a couple a gift.”

OK, do I live on another planet than these people?!?! I’m not saying that the bride and groom should be all “gimme gimme gimme”, but I think that it is perfectly reasonable to expect a gift from a guest that attends your wedding... at least a freaking card! Since when are gifts “NEVER to be expected by the bride and groom”? If that is the case, then why the fuck are all of you REGISTERING at Bed, Bath & Beyond?! Why is there a gift table set up AT THE WEDDING? So I’m the “piece of shit” because no one should “EVER expect a gift from anyone... ever”??? What the fuck? YOU’RE the fucking lying hypocrite! Why can’t we be honest with ourselves and admit that it is appropriate (and expected) to bring a gift or AT LEAST A CARD to a wedding?

I’m totally struggling with why some of these brides-to-be were so attacking when I was actually trying to defend them in saying that I think guests should bring gifts. One guess is that in the process of planning a wedding, they are trying to be altruistic and really focus on the ceremony and not get sucked into the materialistic side of things. Because if you admit you are looking forward to getting some gifts (or that you expect some), then you are a “bad person”. If you don’t expect any gifts, then you can’t be disappointed if you don’t get them. But anyone who tells me that they would not be disappointed if their close friend or family member didn’t even bring a card, let alone a gift, is out and out lying. Just about everyone who wrote me saying that gifts should NEVER be expected at a wedding also told me that they ALWAYS bring a gift to a wedding themselves. How can you really have a double standard like that? If everyone is bringing gifts, it’s because it’s the right and decent thing to do – and then it becomes an expected tradition. There is nothing wrong with "expecting" people to act decently.

Another possible reason why some of these brides were so attacking in their comments may be because some of them may be the very people who aren’t giving gifts at the weddings that they attend themselves! After all, SOMEONE out there isn’t giving gifts or cards, right? About half of my friend’s guests came empty handed, so who are these people? Perhaps it’s the people who are calling me a “piece of shit” for suggesting that gifts should be given.

I will acknowledge that this blog is sarcastic, snarky, bitter and mean. If you didn’t know that coming in, then maybe you may overreact to something I write. Also, the people who agree with me are probably less likely to write a comment than people who disagree, which may also account for some of the comments on the blog and The Knot. I have to believe that there are more people out there who agree with me than disagree with me on this topic.

I should warn The Knot that I have already written another wedding post called "Weddings: The Money Pit of All Money Pits". I can't wait to put that one up on The Knot and see how many new engaged women I can get to hate me!

Oh, on a separate note, I also received my first cease and desist letter from a lawyer over an alleged copyright infringement, so that was fun, too. Legal action, hate e-mail, getting banned from websites... it’s all in a day’s work as a freelance blogger.

(To return to The Minister of Common Sense home page to see more postings, click here. Additionally, the full archive calendar is available to the right. Please bookmark me and pass me along if you think I'm worth it!)


  1. I love your blog, and have it linked from my blog. I read every post, I think your ideas are right on, your writing is witty and your blog just rocks.

    The Knot is a scary scary place. FYI, there's also The Nest, for after the wedding baby-planning. It goes on forever. Those crazed bridezillas can suck it as far as I'm concerned.

  2. Dear, Mr. Minister (is that the right way to address you??), I will risk the wrath of this women and confess that I think gifts should always be given (and therefore expected?) at a wedding! You don't have to give the couple a million dollars, but a token gift will do. If you don't bring a card, then that is wrong.

  3. Thanks, Anne! I appreciate you being a supporter. Yes, I have since heard of The Nest... who knew such things existed? The "The" people (Knot, Nest) really have something going for themselves. It's a publicly-traded company on the stock exchange, too! I know someone who has had legitimate, close friends via The Knot - but she does confess that there are scary people on it, as well. I'm sure they are the minority.

  4. I actually found your blog via the Knot (your plan worked!). I'm a fan, so thanks for posting!

    The Knot has local boards and national boards. The local boards tend to be friendly and helpful; the nationals are known as where the snark congregates (and where out-dated rules of etiquette often triumph over common sense). And they take extreme pride in not being all about "puppies and rainbows." So I'm not really surprised about any of the comments you received - these ladies do have a reputation to uphold! I personally tend to stick with my local board, but the national boards can be a pretty fun read for the amusement/ridiculous factor.

    Anyhow, love the blog, keep it up!

  5. You got banned because you spammed the boards. That's it. They would ban anyone who did that. It wasn't because it was you and you're special.

    For a minister of common sense you don't seem particularly bright.

  6. Brilliant! My husband and I read your blog religiously and he just phoned to ask if I saw this post. Your original postings on weddings-hysterical and so spot on! I laugh at those that stated they don't expect gifts and would never tally up the money they received as gifts! Why a card box, gift table and registry? If you aren't tallying up the money and depositing it in your savings, what exactly are you doing with it? Generally I have to fill out a deposit slip with the list of checks, cash and total sum....see that's what the husband and I had to do in order to deposit the money gifted it to us from the wedding. Simple, no?

  7. Oh for god's sake, I just got banned AGAIN from The Knot! LOL! I put up TWO posts today with a new account I made - just TWO! Who are these people that are reporting me?! How funny. Do you want to see some real brutality? Check out these responses to one of my two posts - I have to admit I was laughing... http://talk.theknot.com/boards/ShowPost.aspx?PostID=58561706

  8. Ok, as a person who is lurking on theknot... (not because I am getting married, but because I think that most of these women are NUTS...) I find what you did extremely funny! Keep it up, it is worth the entertainment.

  9. well the whole point of the blog is to indicate how ridiculous people really are and the lack of commonsense instilled in people. I am surprised that someone would find the knot entertaining enough to lurk on....it is actually quite mundane and trite, no?

  10. I'm a bride to be and I agree with everything you've said. If I'm spending over $100 a head for you to stuff your face and drink my booze you better bring me something, damnit! :) Thanks for the laughs!!

  11. Thanks for many of your comments - I can breathe a sigh of relief in knowing that I am not the only sane person left on this planet.

    As for Megan, you're an idiot. Of course I know I why I was banned by The Knot, and I don't think I was banned because I was "special". If that was the main point you got from reading this post, then you are illiterate. It's stupid people like you that give me something to write about every week.

    In defense of "lurking on The Knot" (written by Anonymous above) it isn't mundane - it can be entertaining to read some of the jaw-dropping (and disturbing) views that are expressed by others. Many Knot readers get something good out of it, but they also enjoy laughing at some of the ridiculousness that goes on there, too!

  12. Anonymous #2: How are you supposed to know if a website is ridiculous and worth laughing at if you don't spend time there? That's like saying a book sucks when you haven't read it. Or for Megan, who is an idiot and probably illiterate, like saying a TV show sucks that you have never watched.

  13. LOL...I am anonymous #2 as referenced above. Yes, I have spent time on the knot and I am married now. My response on "lurking" was not directed at the minister but actually at another response I had read elsewhere. I think I actually mixed this post up with a previous wedding related post...all of which I find hysterical. Sorry for any confusion....carry on!

  14. i don't know how to set a name other than anonymous..so call me anonymous#3 if you choose to respond..

    your blog came up when i was googling something, and i saw it the first time around on theknot. but let me tell you what i wanted to respond to you, before you were (rightfully) banned..

    attending a wedding is a gift to the bride and groom. the guest is taking time out of their schedule, to witness the marriage of two people. the bride and groom appreciate that, that's why there is a reception..to return the favor of attending. those who choose to bring gifts, get another thank you in return-- in the form of a thank you note. the gift is a not a "thank you" for being invited to a wedding, a gift is a "congratulations, here's something to start your new life together with".

  15. I'm enjoying how this post has found new life again on The Knot.com - and I'm glad most of you are finding it entertaining and/or funny. One thing that confuses me is why many feel I was "rightfully banned" by The Knot. I wasn't trying to sell anything with my postings, it wasn't some "trick"... I simply posted something that I thought people would like to read (and, actually, I was right about that). So why do so many on The Knot feel that my posting was "wrong" and that I should be banned? I'm just curious, because that confuses me a bit. Oh well. Enjoy the blog and check out some of the other postings, if you like funny, sarcastic, irreverent writing. Just one of my old favorites includes: "Massages Are Not Relaxing" at http://theministerofcommonsense.blogspot.com/2008/09/massages-are-not-relaxing.html ENJOY!

  16. I think that you were banned because like anonymous #1 said the women are nuts.... by all means keep posting on the knot... if they are going to be bridezillas then other people should be able to use it for entertainment!!!

  17. this is so sooo sooooo funny, and soooo true. The first time I posted on the knot, all I got were a bunch of snarky women tearing me to bits, "This question has already been asked!!" "What the hell is wrong with your screenname??" "What is a "sweater pea??" "I think she's just a retarded illiterate and meant "sweeter" but can't spell!" yeah, the list goes on.
    I'm so freaking glad there are others out there that recognize this. In my experience, all the women on that site with the nasty attitudes are ones who have been married for 2 years already! I know the site is all about giving and receiving advice, but these women are already having babies and way out of the honeymoon stage...why are they still lurking on a wedding site??
    I just stumbled on your blog doing a google search on nasty knotties. I will check out the rest of your blog as well, I like your sense of humor!

  18. I feel that you should have called your blog "Fuck TheKnot.com". I'm happy I'm getting married, but I don't want to be thrown in with the bunch of retarded women that just can't stop being totally into themselves. Fuck theknot, and fuck their groupies.

    And BTW - no, I may not *need* gifts from people, but if there is no simple acknowledgment (i.e., card) from my invited guests, it would the last time they were my guest. Fuck them, too. That's as rude as requiring gifts.

  19. Jen, that's actually a good idea... re-name my Blog "Fuck TheKnot.com" and just rant about bridezillas, etc. There is no shortage of material. I can't imagine how much traffic my site would get (and how many cease and desist orders I would receive). Maybe I should call it "FuckBadWeddingGuests.com"?

  20. lol, this is hilarious. I'm a bride from the knot and I have to say that the rudest bitches are on there. And I agree with anonymous above as to why you were banned - they're all fucking crazy! lol....you just gained another reader :)

  21. I too am a bride from the knot and for me it has been a source of so much helpful advice and entertainment. However, your portrayal of 'the knot gods' and the snarkiness is both spot on and hilarious. You have gained another reader.

  22. Oy, the Knot boards are insane. After asking a simple question, I got torn to pieces by the crazies that troll that site. Basically I was told that I wasn't entitled to bitch (because what I had a question about was some small, insignificant thing) and how I'm too immature to be getting married. Ohh, the irony.

  23. This is so great...I accidently stumbled on this post while doing a wedding-planning-related search and I just want to take the time to THANK YOU for proving that there is still intellegent life out there. :P I've checked out theknot.com a few times and personally I'm not impressed with how anal those bitches are with their rules and whatnot. I am getting married soon and my view on gifts pretty much mirrors your own: If I'm going to take the time (and spend the flippin money) to show you a good time then the least you can do is bring me a card to congratulate me or acknowledge that you were a part of my special occassion! You don't even have to splurge on a hallmark card...sheesh. :P You've gained a reader with me!

  24. i found your blog and just wanted to send you alit tidbit of what I read when i search about asking for cash for a wedding gift. Man these people went crazy its like in their realm of reality using common sence is consider the act of SATANism. I didn't know that gifts didn't cost money. I guess a 50 dollar dish set is different than 50 dollars cash. we made are mistake in thinking that "the Knot" was about helping others.....ohhhhhh no its about who can be the biggest bit%$. here is the link if you are interested in seeing the http://forums.theknot.com/default.aspx?path=http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette

  25. I really appreciate your view on these knot bitches. I'm a former (very recent) knottie. I stayed on for about two weeks and got sick of their BS and deleted my account. I find it nauseating the website banned you but these internet bullies remain. Where's the logic in that? I'm proud you maintained an intellectual side the whole time.

    That being said, you have really inspired my roommate and I. We are about to give these knot bitches a hell storm of wrath on their own website (roommate set up new account). We will be adding your link as well so expect a lot of hits very soon! We will also be giving you a link to observe said wrath!

    We will be pointing them out as what they really are; internet bullies/sociopaths. We will be using there screen names and pointing them out specifically. We will post our post in multiple spots on the community board. We will be using the websites own rules to question why they haven't been removed but you have. Yes, we will probably be banned from their website as well...but hell this is going to be so much fun!!!

  26. Awww shucks we got shut down after about 30 min. After 8 minutes we had about 84 posts. We only got to post twice. Those knotties deleted us but allowed the bullies to stay. I don't get it. They are clearly breaking the rules. Then they continued the conversation under Am I Crazy? under etiquette. I posted a comment. It was deleted but theirs remain. WTF over?

  27. This was the last posting we got in before it was deleted. We had used the last posting cash instead of gifts as our main focus and they deleted that one too. Unfortunately they traced it back to the young lady who wrote cash instead of gifts...oops! Sorry if we let you down minister!

    But I think I've proven my point! This website allows internet bullying and when someone takes up the issue they are the ones deleted not the offenders! I am not this Leslie person. I am not even a female! Just an observer who found the cash for gifts a particularly interesting post full of hate mail. You women think you know it all but aren't even close. You want me to post my real name while you remain anonymous in the shadows...hell no...I won't give you the satisfaction. I am glad to have caused such a commotion though. It has been thoroughly entertaining for me. Thanks for helping to prove my point even further. You chicks really get off on this sh*t!

  28. Welcome back, everyone! As you may have seen, I stopped writing this blog about 8 months ago, but every once in a while, this particular post will come back to life when someone stumbles across it in their internet searches. And then they repost it on The Knot, and all hell breaks loose again! Thanks for keeping it alive, and I still stand by all my original comments! Long live Common Sense!

  29. Yeah I too notice the Knot women bring up seriously out-dated etiquette rules (emily post's name is frequently thrown around).

    Instead of answering your innocent question, they focus on every other thing you typed and proceed to rip it to shreds.

  30. Yup.. The women on the knot are crazy bitches. Complete Internet bullies... I was banned last week because of starting "drama" posts. My posts were all pretty legit, but one of the moderators didn't like me because I am a young bride to be. I found it funny how I got banned, yet the ones who were really starting the drama remain. The moderator... Was the worst! She started most of the drama in my posts and it was very childish. I am still pissed I got banned becase I found the app to be very helpful when the non bitches answered my questions. But oh well. Haha The moderator who banned me had the app FFM (free foto messenger) and her screen name is Chrissytina27
    You should shoot her a message! Haha

  31. My Favorite part of theknot.com is all the insane women touting the importance of etiquette and then proceeding to be incredibly rude to complete strangers who were innocently searching for some helpful advice. I was just thoroughly insulted for no apparent reason and then found this site by googling "theknot bitches". Thank you for your delightful blog. A breath of fresh air in a world of wedding obsessed lunatics...

  32. oh my gosh, thank you for posting this. they ripped me a new one for saying I couldn't choose just one more bridesmaid, but didn't want a huge wedding party.

    this makes me feel so much better, thank you so much. I'm glad there's someone else out there with a brain :)

  33. Oh how this blog makes me laugh. I'm so with you! My sister the other day posted needing advice on a new blog name. Wasn't long before threads were being created to make fun of her blog and her day to day life. It was actually very pathetic. So I of course defended her on there because who wouldn't wanna join in against them. They ended up practically stalking my sister and I and finding out things almost I didn't even know about myself. This was on thenest.com, their sister site.
    Anyways, you're right, those women on there are ferocious and have way too much time on their hands. Not to mention they all were hypocrites from one post to another.
    Btw, it is not rude to expect a gift. I'm getting married in exactly a month and I expect gifts too. This crap about "oh they took time out of their scheudle to attend your wedding" is exactly crap. Weddings are expensive, it's the opposite, they should feel grateful enough to have been invited and payed for specifically as a guest that they get you a gift OR card.
    Keep up the blog!

  34. So I stumbled across this in a random search for weddings. I was a die hard theknot fan until I started posting on the boards. Who knew having an opinion was so evil?! Anyways wanted to say bravo! I will definetely link your blog in my profile on the knot...maybe as a secret bio? Haha that would get a rise out of them. Thanks for all your words!

  35. I'm a bride-to-be (next month!) and I spent a lot of time on the knot for a while. Then I found out what horrible place it was and what wretched women hang out on there. They must covet their online anonymity--it's so much easier to be hidden behind a computer screen while being cruel to faceless strangers, isn't it? I was burned for virtually no reason so many times, and as the over-sensitive person that I am, I take everything personally. So I had to give up. I deleted my account, but I wish I could do more. There will always be that burning ball in my stomach that craves some sort of revenge on those witches on the knot boards for making me feel so embarrassed and hurt for asking a question.
    As many times as they tell you on there that it is a place for "ideas and advice"--it is not. Don't be fooled. It's nothing but a place of criticism and whip-lashing tongues (or typing fingers, as it were).
    On the topic of the original post--I do agree that gifts are supposed to be given at a wedding. You shouldn't exactly *expect* them...but highly hope, yes. Maybe not so much as "gifts", but a damn card, at least! Give a card, get 'em a $10 gift or a gift card somewhere. Seriously, you can't squeeze that? Nobody's asking for at least $100 per person you invited! That would be unreasonable.
    Anyway, F the knot.

  36. I see this post is old, but I HAVE to comment... I was a bride to be on the knot for about 2 months last year. Oh. My. Gosh.

    Women will ask innocent etiquette questions and get TORN APART. The ones who do it are, strangely enough, women who got married a few years ago and the moderators!

    I have seen them use all kinds of horrible language towards newbies. I called them out on it a few times, and they admitted to me that they do it to weed out the weak newbies.

    I think that's called "hazing".

    There's also thebump.com (for pregnant ladies). A blogging friend of mine was bullied on there... they found her personal blog, posted the link on the forum (several times), then flamed her to make fun of her. It was so sad.

    I had my account with them deleted because it actually started to make my wedding planning more difficult and stressful.

    Sad, because the website in general (articles, photos, wedding ideas, etc) is actually quite good. Just the forums are evil.

  37. The KNOT F*cking sucks... I cannot stand the company as a whole. They are forced upon you when you are in the wedding planning process and there are several better options: weddingwire, oncewed, iloveswmag, to name a few. This entry made my day! So funny! Keep it up. Enjoyed the read.

  38. There's nothing wrong with the idea of theKnot... and they have cute stuff... people are crazy everywhere... not just on wedding website... there are plenty of people on there, including myself, who just want to have a nice wedding... and want to look at pretty pictures for ideas... and as you said, plenty that thought you were witty and right now... not everyone is a bridezilla on the knot

  39. This post is super old but I'm gonna comment anyway because I am entertained. I'm a member of The Knot, and people there will sometimes get into the most ridiculous arguments, for one simple reason: there is no single "wedding etiquette"! It varies not only by country, but even by province/state! Most people on The Knot seem to be American (I don't know where you're from), and they seem to think it's taboo to act like you expect gifts (which I find ridiculous, but hey, I'm Canadian). I live in Manitoba, and here it is perfectly acceptable to advertise where you're registered, and even (gasp!) to request that people give you money instead of gifts! Though still, a lot of people will buy you crap you don't want instead. As long as they bring gift receipts it's all good. :D

  40. Ha! I found this by googling "women on theknot are bitches"... because they are. This post and the subsequent comments were delightful to read.

    1. I googled "the knot is full of bitches" and wound up here lol

  41. Hahaha. I once posted a personal story on TK to get some advice and maybe reassurance one night, only to wake up finding I had been absolutely ripped to shreds overnight. I felt terrible about offending so many people so I deleted the post... only to find it REPOSTED so they could continue harrassing me! I was paranoid for months that I would find my story on frontpage news. I probably still have PTSD, actually.

  42. The Knot is crawling with absolute cunts.

  43. I found this post by googling "why I hate theknot" to test if I was only sane person in the world. Turns out I'm not! Thank you so much. I'm glad I'm not the only one who realizes how rude and horrid these women are.

    By, the way. A DD or "dirty delete" is when they feel the original poster deleted the post because they had offended too many people. So basically, they thought you had felt "dirty" about your post and had gotten rid of it and they were being all clever by digging it back up and exposing you for who you were. haha.

  44. Hi!! The nest and the knot are full of nasty people. I posted a relationship question on there once and i was crying my eyes out in twelve hours over strangers comments.

    fast forward to now when I am engaged and asked a simple question on the knot.com and again people are being insanely rude bitches.

    I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW!!! That you are ALSO (apparently, according to the knot.com posting bitches that love to rip apart everyone) that if i DONT bring a gift to the shower and the to wedding...I AM RUDE AS WELL.

    I see a gap in the logic there...youre rude if you expect gifts and you're rude if you don't take gifts to each and every of the bride's many wedding-related festivities. WHAT!??!

  45. I know I am posting a few years too late here, but I found this after spending the evening on the Knot boards for the first time with a few etiquette questions and I felt like...deeply sad and hurt by these crazy women. They are unbelievably presumptuous and preachy and straight up mean-spirited. And they pride themselves on being catty and "real"--as you said, severe superiority complex.
    In one thread these crazy bitches actually told a girl pretty unanimously that she was a horrible human being for going ahead with her planned wedding day even though she decided to have a civil ceremony with her close family because her father was terminally ill and wanted to see his daughter's wedding day. Forgive me--apparently that's not a wedding day but a "pretty princess day". But all these other women who buy ten thousand dollar pouf dress are not acting like princesses...I guess. By Knot logic. By women that were married 3 years ago and are still posting 75 times a day.

  46. I just experienced hated on the knot for posting what I believed was an innocent question... I am so upset/perturbed by the responses that I emailed the site asking it to remove my comments so I no longer have to associate with the thread. It was scary how mean people were out of the blue. Thanks for ranting for the people who been hated on!

  47. I did the knot for a while. I survived one of those pile on flame wars too but not sure why I wanted to exactly. This is an entire group of wedding planning boards for those mean girl type high school/ jr high bitches. They may be 22 or 45 now but they are still those same bitches. They are the same women who screw with people at work all the time too. They specialize in outdated wedding customs that they insist is etiquette straight from God himself. In spite of the "budget brides" section, most of these chicks have wedding bucks to burn, and feel if you do not have at minimum 60K in the bank for your wedding/new house/ and immediate "TTC" plans (trying to conceive) you have no business getting married, anyway. Some have high paying jobs, but most have high paying parents I am sure. I am not really sure WHY I was a regular at Snarky Brides, but maybe I wanted to prove I could beat these women at their own game. Yuk, yuk, yuk. Go to Wedding Bee. Good people there.

  48. I'm getting married in three months and I was so happy to find this post on your blog! I can't stand all those uppity wedding websites and blogs that only feature or talk about weddings that are so over the top its outrageous. While planning my wedding I've grown to dislike them so much that I won't even look at them anymore. I went on them to get ideas about how to have a wedding on a very tight, actually reasonable, budget. At first it made me feel like total crap about the things we have decided not to spend on. Then I got angry. Angry that they NEVER show or talk about realistic weddings. You know the ones that happen in backyards & not everything matches. The ones that people only spent a thousand dollars on. Instead I came across a post talking about a bride that refused to have her wedding anywhere that had ceiling tiles. Seriously. I felt like tracking this woman down & telling her what a ridiculous spoiled brat she was. I guess my point is this; weddings have become almost like track homes. Every single one is supposed to be this event where millions are spent entertaining the guests. According to those sites anyways. The women that read them the most are probably the same ridiculous women that plan these monstrosities. They're so full of shit! It's unbelievably rude not to bring at least a card & anyone that tries to act like they aren't "expecting" their guests to have common sense is a liar.

  49. Dude, the hate is real here. Im a MOH to my best friend and had a very simple question about the ettiquite of having a friend step up to give a message of love during the ceremony. The other MOH (there are two) wanted for it to be a surprise and I didn't know if I liked the idea so I foolishly went to the Ettiquite board at the Knot. I explained why she wanted to do this (part of it is the officiant is a friend they WANTED to marry them, changes of plans putting them inside a church while he isn't religious so the MOH wanted to give a portion of the ceremony to help his comfort)

    Instead of saying "Nah, I would think that's a bad idea" which I would have agreed with them on, they completely TRASHED me, the bride, the officiant, and every damn decision the bride made for her wedding, which wasn't even the topic. When I told them to just stay on topic I was repeatedly told "You can't tell us what not to say, it's in the rules."

    I can't tell you to answer the actual question instead of throwing your opinion in where it wasn't asked? Oooookay... I immediately left but OH MY GAWD are these women ok? Do they need a tranquilizer???? (the answer is yes) So much hatred. They criticized the bride not being religious but using a church for the ceremony because "a church is NOT pretty backdrop!!" (Actually the church is kinda ugly and she's only doing it there because oh, she wanted to have the wedding at the church we all grew up in??? "The officiant needs to be REPLACED if he doesnt want to be in a church!" Um... but THEY approached HIM, so.... they obviously want HIM to do it no one else???

    I just can never get over this absolute shit show over there. Internet bullies doesn't come close, it is a genuine cespool of over-entitled and self-important cuntrags.