August 14, 2008

Urinal Skeeve Out

There's this one guy on my office floor (who doesn't work for the Ministry, but for another government entity), and he freaks me out in the bathroom.

There are two urinals in the bathroom on my floor. If this guy is already standing at a urinal when I go in there, he ALWAYS turns and looks at me when I saddle up to the urinal next to him.

I assume he does this when anyone comes in, and it's super freaky. It is an unspoken guy rule NOT to look at the other person when standing at a urinal.

There is a divider between us, so it's not like he's looking at my junk or anything. He just turns and looks at my face for a second. I'd almost prefer it if he looked at my package, instead - at least I could understand that he might be gay or insecure or something, but why is he looking at my face?? Perhaps to identifying me to see if he knows me? Even if he DID know me, what would he want do with that recognition?... talk to me?? No one wants to be talked to when they are pissing (unless it's your best friend and you are drunk at a strip bar or something).

As soon as I walk in and see him there, I just know he's going to look at me. Of course, I never look back - I just see him with my peripheral vision, but one time I'd like to turn my head immediately toward him and angrily ask, "WHAT?"

One time, a guy who I DID know walked in when I was in one of the stalls with the door shut. He calls out, "Minister, is that you?" (How he knew it was me, is beyond me. And what a risk to take - what if it WASN'T me!... imagine that awkward exchange.) Reluctantly, I responded, "Yeah." Then he proceeds to talk to me while he was pissing and while I was in the stall. I wanted to kill him, and it was hard to listen to him when I was constantly saying to myself, "shutthefuckupshutthefuckupshutthefuckup".

Don't fucking talk to me in the bathroom. Am I alone in this preference??

1 comment:

  1. What a weirdo. People act so strange in the bathroom, don't they?